Hear ye Hear ye! All 20 something gather around. There’s a new uprising in town! How are you spending your Saturday and Sunday mornings? As a kid I was watching Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh, or at one of my boys’ houses probably abusing someone in Marvel vs. Capcom 2. But now we’re older, busier, more stressed and always looking for a way to let off some steam. Wouldn’t it be cool if we could wake up, eat, drink and party at the same location? Enter Brunch!
Brunch used to be what we did unbeknownst to ourselves on weekends, waking up at 11am, rolling out of bed at 12:23pm, and eating at 1:17pm. But honestly I don’t know where the brunch movement came from, but man I’m happy that it came. I believe it came from the notion that brunch is the hangover cure. A hearty meal with champagne (because that will surely get rid of that hangover) is supposed to be a good reset for the night before. At our age we realize the ever present turn-up doesn’t necessarily have to be when the sun goes down. Places like Pranna and PS450 turn brunch INTO the party! But why is brunch the talk of the town? Well for one, a proper brunch is bottomless- meaning it serves unlimited champagne, mimosas, bellinis and Bloody Mary’s for a certain amount of time (usually 2 hours). How many instagram posts do you have to see to get the picture? The best thing about brunch is getting drunk! Make sure you can handle your liquor though. You don’t want to be the sissy known for being actually DRUNK at brunch. You have to be a real flower picker for that to get drunk off champagne.
Brunch is the thing to do because it is reserved for good friends, girlfriends, frat brothers, line sisters, friends from out of town and business partners. Don’t go to brunch when any ol’ body invites you. It needs to be a special occasion. That 5 in the face girl whose number you got at the club the night before? Don’t invite her to brunch. You don’t want what happened to me to happen to you and that was when my old girl from High School saw me with this struggle in the face girl at brunch. Brunch is for good-looking people only so clearly I violated the rules. Third best thing about brunch is that you will meet a ton of cool new people. Before I became a taken man, whenever I went to Pranna’s brunch, I left with a few numbers. But then again you’re not me so you can meet other people like designers, stylists, marketing executives, sports players and a host of other important figures at brunch. My favorite places to brunch are PS450, Scottadito Osteria, Tavern 29, Kittichai ,Elberta, Sofrito,Libations and Apertivo. Don’t be above trying out a new spot, you might fall in love. Make sure you have enough to cover the bill, tax and gratuity. If you have to use your phone calculator to pay your bill, stay home chump. Just remember the simple rule. It’s not brunch if it’s not bottomless and if there’s no side of bacon. – Jelani “The Bearded Douche”